Silence is Golden: Expert Tricks to Dodge Airplane Chatter [Roundup]

by Gary Leff

News and notes from around the interweb:

  • How to avoid conversation with your seat opponent on a plane:

    Since “what do you do?” is a favorite opener, an arcane or uninteresting occupation can be very effective. If you answer that you’re in pest control, or a particle physicist, your seatmate most probably will be at a loss as to how to follow up. If the Welcome Wagon in the next seat does not take the hint, you can be more direct and explain that you have a serious problem you must mull over and solve by the time you land in XXXXX. Or you can say your poodle just died, and you are in no shape to have a conversation. Prudie actually knows a woman who learned to sign, “I am not a hearing person.”

    Normally the universal sign for ‘close your mouth and shut up’ is putting on headphone, ideally noise-cancelling headphones. Close your eyes if you need to.

  • American Airlines has an agreement to protect passengers on El Al while their service to Tel Aviv remains suspended. They had allowed business class passengers to book onto El Al flights non-stop to the U.S., while requiring coach passengers to fly El Al to Europe and connect. The agreement has been extended, but business class passengers are no longer able to fly El Al non-stops back to the U.S.

  • Destination retail district to be developed on Charlotte airport-owned land

    A conceptual site plan was presented with 500,000 square feet of light industrial and logistic buildings; two hotels; nine food and beverage options with a brewery; convenience service retail; gas station; medical office; pharmacy; and preservation of the Charlotte Area Transit System’s proposed LYNX Silver Line towards the airport.

    Destination District’s central portion at North Josh Birmingham Parkway and Wilkinson Boulevard will have access and exposure to more than 200,000 vehicles per day coming from the I-85 and roads, Hair said.

  • United, clean your planes.

  • Maintenance has seemed deferred pending United NEXT interior retrofits (which are much delayed), but United fix your planes.

  • How is Brex doing? Aside from laying off 20% of staff:

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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Comments

  1. I always sit by the window. When someone sits down, I acknowledge their presence with a brief look and smile and then turn back to whatever I was doing, even if I was just looking out the window. If they choose to engage in conversation, I will be attentive to what they say, and depending what is said I then will determine if I want the conversation to continue. If I then do not want to talk I will then disengage by saying that I am (1) tired and need to rest, or (2) have some work to do as I retrieve my computer, or (3) I say “please don’t take offense, but I really don’t want to talk to anyone now”. If they persist, I will just say – “Please respect my wish not to engage in conversation.” If they choose to continue, I ignore them.

  3. Always say I’m an embalmer looking forward to their future visit and they never say a word to me after that
    Works every time! 😉

  6. I always say that I’m a trust beneficiary and that if I speak to people I knw, I’ll be cut off. Works like a charm!!!!

  7. I don’t talk to my seat mates on an airplane. I’m sure I’ve missed getting to know all kinds of fascinating humans on flights, but it’s just not worth it.
    Years ago, a woman beside me yapped non-stop from SFO to JFK. Nothing would stop her … working on my computer, reading a book, headphones, pretending to sleep. Since that time, I don’t even acknowledge anyone who sits behind me. It’s just not worth the risk of repeating that awful flight. People don’t need to talk to me. I’ve never felt compelled to deal with boors, they are obviously oblivious … let them talk to someone else.

  9. I may use that one liner on my next flight:

    “The dingo ate my baby”

    Silence ensues. No conversation follows. Mission accomplished.

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