No Seat Swap, No Peace? One Passenger’s ‘Sick Burn’ After Refusing Mom’s Request To Change Seats

There’s a lot of discussion around changing seats to accommodate families. Generally families need to secure seats together prior to the flight. Sometimes that can’t happen, for instance when their flight is cancelled and they get rebooked. There may not be anything left together.

It’s nice to be kind and switch seats to accommodate a family, whether to keep them seated together or just because the child wants to look out the window. One passenger, though, shares his story of refusing – and the ‘sick burn’ he used on the mom who threatened him with a miserable flight because he didn’t.

The mother told him that since he wouldn’t give up his window seat he was “in for a long four hours, honey.” And as her child screamed at the top of their lungs and the parent did nothing, he offered “You’re in for a long twelve years.”

Yet another give your window seat to my kid. Normally would’ve done it cause I don’t really care, but I’d booked the window cause I wanted to watch the descent into my hometown. Politely declined, gave my sappy reason.

Mom did not react well but little (maybe six or seven?) immediately starts screaming. Like full infant style scream-sobbing. Mom did nothing.

I was annoyed, but I’ve got good headphones and had been planning to shatter my eardrums anyways, and it’s none of my business if this woman wanted to make a fool of herself on a plane, so I didn’t really react, but before I could go for my headphones, the mom said “You’re in for a long four hours, honey,” and so I said, “that’s alright, ma’am. You’re in for a long twelve years.”

Ironically the child “tired herself out yelling after like ten minutes max and slept until descent.”

The passenger, proud of his sick burn, shared the story to social media because of course only he and the mother heard it. And he was proud. What do you think?

I was once asked to change seats so that a couple could sit together, only to learn that they were already seated together, they just didn’t like the bulkhead, and they wanted to stick me with the bulkhead instead (I don’t like the bulkhead either!).

A reader once gave up his premium seat so that a family could sit together only to have the family sell that seat to another passenger and not actually sit together.

U.S. airlines have made moves to try to seat families together for free. It is not always possible. You should ask for help from reservations to get this. You should choose flights where it’s possible. But if you don’t, and they can’t help in advance. Ask at the gate. And ask on board. However,

  • You should book seats together if it is at all possible, even if it’s more costly to do so.

  • You shouldn’t impose a cost on other passengers to save yourself money, though sometimes you can get away with it.

  • As a passenger, don’t be guilted into switching for someone else. You have a (usufructuary) right in your seat. If someone wants it, they can buy you out of it.

  • Of course you can be kind and generous if you wish. That is voluntary, a mitzvah, just do your due diligence about what you’d be getting before you agree.

I frequently write about being nice to the airline and hotel staff you come into contact with, not just because they’re people and may well be having a bad day, but because it’s in your own interest to. They’ll go much farther to help you, rather thank just trying to move you along, if you connect with them as people. The same goes for dealing with other passengers!

If you want someone to switch for you,

  1. be nice
  2. have a compelling story
  3. be prepared to offer them something in exchange if necessary, maybe offer to buy them a drink or even give them $20

And make sure your ask is reasonable! Get as good a seat as you can to offer up in trade and don’t expect someone to give up their extra legroom aisle seat for your middle in the back of the plane.

(HT: Scott)

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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Comments

  1. Recycled post. If you don’t have anything useful Gary, just don’t post anything.
    We will survive….

  2. I always prefer an Aisle seat, but I would take a window on a shorter flight for a family. But I won’t take a middle seat for anyone.

  3. Not sure what the “seat swap” ask actually was. Giving up the window for the middle or isle in the same row?

  4. I won’t switch my seat because I pick it, and pay for it in advance. Not trying to be heartless, but I shouldn’t have to be guilt tripped into having an uncomfortable ride because the other party is too cheap, or too lazy to do their due diligence. Sorry…not sorry 🙂

  5. Good for him. Sick of parents thinking that because they choose to travel with their kids their wants take precedent over everyone else’s. But, then again, this where we are as an American society…everything for me, but not for thee.

  6. I didn’t realize how cold the world was until I traveled with child. The evil eyes I get as I walk to my seat is disturbing. I’ve sat down and had fellow passenger emmidiately and abruptly get up and request to be relocated.

  7. American seems to have changed this policy lately. My family of 3 flew 4 times last month on a 3-4-3 configuration and everytime American assigned us seats BCD, across the aisle. I guess they are just trying to make the basic economy fare more punishing or milk some extra money to change the seat during check-in. It’s came to a head on the 3 of those flights when 6 families in a row were all seated like this and the seat swapping got to be too much for the poor flight attendent to handle.

  8. Just what this blog needs. More useless stories about selfish jerks. Maybe the next post should be about joining the mile high club.

  9. As a flight attendant, I had this situation pop up a few years ago. Mother insisted i move people so her 17, 12 and 5 yo could sit together. When i said no, she told me she was going to have her 5 yo scream during flight. I said I’ll fix this, just a sec ma’am. Called the Captain to have her removed. He did. Problem solved.

  10. I think we’ve done this a few times before. Must be a slow day in Garyville.
    I *never* switch seats. I book the seats I want months in advance, or I use Expert Flyer to get what I want. Sorry, want specific seats, do what I do, book ahead.
    I am tired of entitled youngsters, i.e., today’s parents, who thinks everyone owes them a favor because they’re dragging a howler monkey onto an aircraft.

  11. Except you aren’t consider IROPS or for instance my last flight i got moved for a service dog away from my kids.

  12. I added my second son on later. He was seated somewhere else besides with us according to our boarding passes. The flight attendant found someone willing to trade. I don’t remember the exact circumstances but now I would get on the website and see what I could do to get us seated together instead of waiting until we got on the plane.

  13. What a lot of people don’t understand is that when we book our flights we set our seat assignments to be next to our children. It’s the airlines that change seats before we check in because either they changed planes. They don’t take into account the age of children on the flight when they do this either. People are blaming the parents for the airlines mistakes. Because of this I pay for upgrades the minute I book to ensure that I am with my kids because I’ll be d@*n if I let a stranger sit next to my kid but not every parent / family has that luxury / budget.

  14. When we used to travel with our son’s when they were little, I’m talking 30+ years ago people were happy to do seat exchanges. It didn’t cost a thing. We did it twice. People were very kind back then. And I’ve also reciprocated to keep families flying together as well. But now as I’ve gotten older I get anxiety when traveling and I need my aisle seat. Sad to say I wouldn’t switch seats now unless it were for another aisle seat.

  15. Well here is my story about family seating . On June 7 I made 2 reservations on Delta for my family. My daughter , son in law and infant on lap were flying GSO-ATL -GEG and my wife and I were meeting them in ATL-to fly ATL-GEG round trip. We booked and picked seats together on June 7 for the ATL-Geg legs. . 2 days ago I received email that my flight on return was rebooked. I found that my wife and i were reassigned seats in a different row. I have spent 4 hours today on phone , messaging and filing complaint with Delta about the change. Delta has now separated the grandparents and placed a stranger next to infant on lap. The only explanation Delta has given for the change is for a flight change. The flight number is same, aircraft same, no cancelled flights around this flight and only change from reservation made in June is arrival to ATL on changed flight is now 8:10 instead of 8:09. Multiple attempts to try and get reason for changing our seats and only boiler plate responses from Delta. The 2 seats changed were aisle seats across from each other. Could someone with high status demand these seats or would Delta change us for staff ? the 2 seats were in comfort +. If not placed back, i will do everything to let the baby cry on the flight.

  16. I will never willingly change seats. Ever. If I can pay to pick my seat at the time of booking, so can other people. I don’t care why you want my seat, the answer is no.

  17. It seems like we are missing some facts here. Was the child sitting apart from the parent, or did the child just want the window seat instead of his assigned seat adjacent to the parent? It sounds like the latter which is an absurd reason to switch.

  18. Aside from the main topic of trading seats for families I bring to point something connected with this story. I believe the airlines should impose standards on parents traveling with young children and babies making responsible for their behavior. There’s no reason for paying travelers to put up with a screaming and disorderly child. If they can’t control and keep their brats in order they should be removed from the flight. In this story how was that mother allowed to do nothing while her undisciplined kid whaled away and disrupted the peace and comfort of the rest of the passengers. IDK what’s happened but it appears to me that good parenting is something of the past.

  19. “Get as good a seat as you can to offer up in trade and don’t expect someone to give up their extra legroom aisle seat for your middle in the back of the plane.”

    Unfortunately, that does not seem to be the case 4 out of 5 times.

  20. Gary:
    Your suggestion of “be prepared to offer them something in exchange if necessary, maybe offer to buy them a drink or even give them $20”.

    You perpetuate the practice that everything has a price in the USA and so it must be so in the rest of the world, money, money, money! forget feeling, sentiment; courtesy, or kindness.

  21. being a red blooded American Capitalist, I may sell my seat, if the price is right. will I make a profit? heck yea, if there’s a deal ! don’t like it , if your looking for sympathy , Try websters ,, between shit and syphilis

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