The details of what this passenger did are probably not safe for work.

So before continuing, for those reading the story on the front page of my blog, I’ll require you to…

A middle-aged male Japanese passenger on an overnight Jetstar flight to the Gold Coast viewed pornography, groped the female stranger sitting next to him and repeatedly swigged bottles of alcohol he had brought aboard.

The woman being groped was sitting next to her boyfriend. The boyfriend wants to know why Jetstar didn’t reseat them away from this drunk passenger. I want to know why the boyfriend didn’t ask to be reseated.

Four hours into a Jetstar (low cost Qantas) flight from Tokyo to Australia’s Gold Coast, “the Japanese passenger touched the woman in a sexual manner, brushing her right thigh and buttock.”

The man was carrying ‘six bottles of clear liquid’ and flight attendants took away those that were clearly alcohol. He appaently had more bottles in the overhead bin, though.

He then got out his laptop and a pornographic magazine, “pulled his pants down and started touching himself”.

The report stated the Japanese man “pulled down his pants all the way to his ankles”.

The fundamental thing that seems lost in translation here, what the passenger didn’t understand or was too drunk to understand, is that joining the mile high club — whether by yourself or with someone else — is what the lavatory is for.

This poor choice cost the man a fine of ~ US$1668. One imagines he could have done far better with that kind of cash upon arriving at his Gold Coast destination.

The AFP confirmed that its Gold Coast Airport Operations spoke to a male Japanese national on 7 December 2014 and that as a result a 50-year-old man had pleaded guilty to offensive and disorderly behaviour on an aircraft, and was fined AUD 2125 in court.

The passenger in question is no longer permitted to fly Jetstar or Qantas.